Friday, April 30, 2010

Sleepwalking Nightmare of Doom

Let this be a warning to you all.  Exercise extreme caution when ingesting any medication with the suffix "PM."  Normally I consider myself pretty impervious to these types of medications since I suffered from extreme insomnia my sophomore year of high school and became immune to any over the counter sleep aide.  However, it's been a while since I've needed that little extra shove into Dreamland, so when I finally decided to just take a pill last night, the effects were stronger than I anticipated.  Last weekend I stayed up for 20 hours straight for NYU's annual Relay For Life for which I am one of the overall event chairs.  I also worked at the hotel (aka got up really early), went to a party (aka stayed up really late), and took a praxis II exam (got up get the idea).  Basically my sleeping schedule was completely out of whack and remained so all week.  I was getting pretty fed up with not being able to fall asleep until 3 and then being awakened by the piercing (but lovely) rays of the sun at 9.  To many of you hardworking people reading this, a 6 hour night does not sound so bad, and it's not - I've been functioning, but I'm an 8 hour girl.  I feel weird and cranky without my full night's sleep.

But I digress.

Last night after popping my pill I was looking forward to 8 (maybe 10!) hours of peaceful slumber.  Instead, I awoke to the sounds of demon voices screeching my name "Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnn."  Startled, I jumped out of bed and stumbled to the door.  When I stepped out into the hallway, the entire apartment was flashing with an eerie blue light.  All around me I heard incomprehensible voices.  I ran to the bathroom, where the screeching resumed. "Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!"  Then suddenly it sounded like people were banging on the walls around me.  As I was sprinting back to my bed, I somehow had the presence of mind to remind myself to write about this in the morning. 
If you can't read that, it says "sleepwalking nightmare of doom!" on a notebook that was beside my bed.  Clearly, I wanted to share this traumatic experience with you all.

After another fretful night's sleep, the sun not only forces my eyes open, but illuminates the true events of last night.  Here is a code to what actually happened:

screeching demonic voices: really damaged breaks of a garbage truck
eerie blue light: the lights from our cable box in the living room
incomprehensible voices: Hamna speaking Urdu in a Skype conversation
more screeching: more bad breaks (really people, go see a mechanic)
banging on the walls: old pipes making noises

I'm fine now, but let this be a lesson to all who are considering taking the medical route to sleep - it might not be as restful as you think.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I Love Meat

Stop your snickering and get your minds out of the gutter!!  But really, I love any kind of meat.  Pork, beef, poultry, seafood - all of it!  I even love things that PRETEND to be meat!  For instance, I love those Morning Star fake hot wings.  I also love facon (fake-bacon).  Hamna just made a delicious quiche with facon mmm-mm-m-m-m!  The point is, I'm a carnivore and proud of it!  That is all.

Oh yea, look at that.


I'm trying out new template designs.  This one is pretty, but the post column is awfully skinny.  What do you think?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Today I encountered a number of weirdos.

1.  Weird lady with a poncho comes into the restaurant (it was my last day FINALLY).  "Is there jam?"  "Yes! It's on the table."  I turn around to see the woman sitting at the buffet that's displayed on the bar.  She pulled up a chair and plopped next to the muffin display.  I didn't even know what to say.

2.  Man eating breakfast with his wife.  Winks at me from across the room like we're friends with an inside joke.  Again I am speechless. 

3.  Angry girl in my Torah class (yea I occasionally attend Jewish classes).  We were discussing how it's important to listen to others' opinions, which was totally over her head.  She was going on and on about how it's obnoxious to repeat what others say (as in, Ok, I hear you saying A, but I think B).  I said that it can be a good way to understand other people's opinions but she kept saying "You can't be sure they were doing it nicely, you can't interpret it that way! It's obnoxious!"  Then I said "I think you're just taking the obnoxious interpretation."  She flipped out and called me rude and guess what else? OBNOXIOUS!

4.  Dramatic girl on the street.  On the phone: "Mom!  I can't live like this!  I can't take this anymore!"  Followed by dramatic sobbing.  I'll never know what she was so upset about.

I might be quirky, weird, and goofy...but at least I'm sane.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Bon Appetit

From time to time I like to pretend that I am a gourmet chef.  I would like to share with you my attempt to replicate Pioneer Woman's Sun-dried Tomato Risotto. Enjoy.  
Well I got off to a good start.  I didn't quite have enough onion, so I added some shallots that were in danger of rotting before I got to use them.  Don't worry, they were still good. 

PW used real garlic.  I like the stuff from the jar. It's more refined.  Now, her sun-dried tomatoes looked red and happy...mine, not so much.  They smelled funny too.  But I pressed on.

Ok, butter and olive oil worked out.  Notice the fun purple in my onion mixture.  I like to keep things colorful.


Then I added the tomaters.

Oooh, I was very happy it looked similar.  I then spent the next 40 minutes adding chicken broth one cup at a time.

Until it looked like this!  Not quite as fluffy, but I made it work.

Next for the Parmesan.  I used the powdery stuff because I'm classy.
Then she added heavy cream.  We are not as luxurious in the apartment so I used 2% milk.  Plus, I'm trying to keep my girlish figure.

I couldn't believe it!  Pioneer Woman used basil from a jar.  That's what I had too.

Oh yea, look at that.  Delicious!

It actually turned out pretty tasty.  Thanks P-Dub!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Prodigal Roommate Returns

My darling Hummykins has been gone forEVER.  First jet-setting to Vegas for two weeks, then North Carolina for a week.  But now she's back and all is right with the world!

This is what one would typically see walking into our apartment - the three of us Facebook stalking, Stumbling, and sometimes school work. (Sometimes Cary is on the end, but mostly he's in his room studying.)  For three long weeks it was just Kate and I, but now the trifecta is complete.

We noticed that our comments on blogs and conversation topics turn...bitchier...when we're together.  It reminded me of a TruBlood episode I watched recently in which Bill Compton explained to Sookie that when vampires live in "nests," they become more evil.  So basically, since our nest is full again, our snarkyness is going at full blast and our tongues are sharper than ever.  Watch out!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Eyjafjallajökull and the Yosemite Conspiracy

In light of the Eyjafjallajökull erupting in Iceland, our pre-bedtime conversation was centered around volcanoes.  Cary mentioned that he thought he heard that a volcano in Yosemite or Yellowstone or something might erupt sometime soon.  Now how would you react to this news?  "Oh really? Interesting" or "That's not good, can we do something about it?" or "Where did you hear that?" are all good options.  Kate, however, flew into a rage:

Kate: Oh they would say that!
Cary: What?
Kate: The MEDIA!  "Oh the attention's not on us! Hey! We're still here! Pay attention to AMERICA!"
Cary and I exchange glances...
Cary: What??
Kate: I don't trust the media.
Cary: But it's seismology.
Kate: Well still.
Me: I'm not sure that this is the appropriate reaction, Kate.
Kate: I just think we exaggerate.

Kate then proceeded to rave about the virtues of Iceland.  Cary was not as enthused and proposed making Iceland a national park.  I reminded him that we cannot make other nations into national parks. And then Kate chimed in:
"Anyway, since when is Iceland a part of Europe??"

I'm still laughing.

By the way, Cary was misinformed.  No eruption anytime soon.

Monday, April 19, 2010


Who's cranky today?  Me.  So here's a list of things that make me want to punch people.
  • When cars stay still at green lights
    • I don't know about you, but I have places to go.
  • The "oh no we're going to run into each other" dance
    • Uh oh, we're walking in the same path!  I'll go to the right - oh wait you're going right? Ok so I'll - no wait, STAY STILL!
  •  Guys talking about their work out regiments
    • I will never care about how many reps you can do, or what protein concoction you've replaced your breakfast with, or how ripped those squats made your quads...or pecs...or anything of the sort.
  • Sneak preaching
    • You know who I mean.  That kindly old lady sitting at the other end of the table.  "Sure, ma'am, I'll pass you a, no thank you, I would not like to pray with you. I'm already acquainted with Jesus.  No really, it's cool.  Would you believe that I'm Jewish?
  • The dude that sits with his legs all the way open
    •  There is no way your gentleman parts are so huge that you need to take up three subway seats so that you can have breathing room.  Move over.

That's not such a big list - and I feel better already!

    Saturday, April 17, 2010


    Being the cleaning champions that we are, my roommate, Cary and I worked up a hunger. Naturally, we panicked.  OH MY GOD WHAT ARE WE GONNA EAT WE DON'T HAVE ANY FOOD!?!?  (Maybe not as panicked as that, but you get the idea.)  After Cary rejected my kettle corn and mini pizza suggestions (c'mon, what's better than that?) and after we gingerly avoided some questionable looking tupperwares, we managed to come up with a pretty classy menu: lobster ravioli with vodka sauce, lightly sauteed asparagus...and nachos (of course).

    This hodgepodge of flavors is pretty representative of today.  Slept at the Loft, woke up with puffy eyes and a nice wheeze courtesy of Jonathan Poopstick.  Chicken pot pie for breakfast.  Coffee pot fiasco (we really must remember to use a filter next time).  Room cleaning.  Irresponsible nut-cracking.  Typical Saturday stuff.  And now it's almost midnight and Cary and I are working on our second plate of nachos.


    Balancing Equations

    Lately I've been feeling a mixture of pomposity and dejection. On one hand, my fabulous lab partner and I just won an award at the Undergraduate Research Conference. On the other hand, I've been rejected from all the law schools on my list. On the bright side, I got into Teach For America so I won't be completely lost come May. Anyway, my mixed emotions have put me in a reflective mood...
    Since I became a mole-person of the psychology lab, I've spent very little time in any other academic building at NYU. So I found myself reminiscing about my pre-med days as I walked through the Silver Center (main academic building) after the Conference. I remembered having to meet with some big-wig frog-lady in order to get approval to take Honors Chem. She peered at me from behind her glasses and basically said that she did not advise that I take it. I wouldn't do well. Forget it. Obviously I took it, got a B and now I'm going to teach chemistry.  Funny how things work out.  
     This post is random, I need to be funnier.

    Side note:  honors chem turned out to be horrendous because of this terrible man ->                     
                    Photo of 
                    isn't he terrible?  He might look harmless with his beard and his carefree tie-less outfit, but he made my first semester of college quite tearful.  If you see him, step on the back of his heels...everyone hates that.

    Tuesday, April 13, 2010

    Maybe I'm speaking another language...

    So about 2 weeks ago I quit my waitressing job at a hotel restaurant…or at least I thought I did.  I said “I need to stop working.”  And my manager said “Ok I’ll try to have you out of here in a few weeks.”  I’m not sure that’s how quitting works.  April is a busy month for me – like many important things happening, not just a bunch of doctors appointments - so him saying I’ll be done by the end of the month was not really comforting.

    So anyway, I was still working there last weekend.  Now, the weekend kitchen-bus boy dude is very creepy.  Every time I walk in his face lights up – not in an “I’m happy to see you” kinda way, but in a “I’m raping you with my eyes” kinda way.  It’s very unsettling.  I try to stay on my side of the kitchen door, but when he comes out, I make sure to send him on some kind of errand far, far away from me.  But this past Sunday I wasn’t thinking on my feet.  He snuck up behind me and said “¿Cansada bonita?”  Startled, I took a few steps to the side, but I was basically trapped behind the breakfast counter.  “Ha ha…sí, estoy cansada.”  So apparently “yes, I’m tired” translates to “please give me a massage” because that’s what he started to do.  He started rubbing his creepy little hands on my shoulders.  Thank the lord, a customer came in so I scampered away.  This never would have happened had quitting worked like I thought I was supposed to.
    So I was also STILL working this morning.  And I was hit by the swinging kitchen door FOUR TIMES!  Back! Head! Arm! Other arm!  Then 10:30 AM finally rolled around and I could finally start closing up.  When a couple walked in...
    Me: Oh, I’m sorry, we’re closed.
    Couple: You make us bagel?
    Me:  No, I’m sorry, we’re closed.
    Couple:  Bagel?
    Me:  *Sigh…I make you bagel. 
    After making the bagel…and a hot chocolate…and a coffee, I finally got to go home. 
    Working at this restaurant job has made me question how people understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.  I think I’m speaking English but…I guess people are hearing different things.

    Monday, April 12, 2010

    Some explanations

    You may be wondering about the title and description of my blog.  
    "gold-hatted, high bouncing lover" comes from a poem by Thomas Parke D'Invilliers a.k.a F. Scott Fitzgerald

    Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
    if you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
    Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
    I must have you!"

    The interpretation kinda sucks because it's talking about a man that needs to use a lot of flash and/or "bling" to impress a girl.  But as it applies to me, I often feel like I do a lot to prove myself.  I try to take on a lot of things, be a good friend, look nice, dress well, be funny - all to basically make people say "I must have you!" in whatever the case may be.  One of my greatest fears is mediocrity and not taking advantage of every opportunity available to me.  So I will wear gold hats, and bounce, and love until I am satisfied and until you are satisfied.  That makes me sound like a terrible people pleaser, but it's not really like that.

    Speaking of opportunities...that brings me to my title!

    The Halo Effect is a psychological phenomenon related to a quote by Sun Tzu: "Opportunities multiply as they are seized."  Basically, the more accomplishments you achieve, the more likely it will be that you will achieve more.  For instance, if I receive an award and put it on my resume, then people evaluating my resume will see that others have decided that I am valuable in certain ways, and add that value to their perception of me.

    So whenever we do something interesting, useful, prestigious, or different (even if it seems totally unrelated to our goals) we increase our chances of seizing new opportunities in the future and gaining what we want out of life.

    That may have bored you and I apologize.  However, I think it applies to my life right now because I am taking a detour.  I'm teaching even though I ultimately don't want to be a teacher.  I have a Psychology degree even though I don't really want to be a psychologist.  Eventually I'd like to go to law school.  And culinary school.  And many other things that seem unrelated.  But I think that as I go along and collect evidence of my various interests, my true passion will come to me.  And I'll be prepared to seize it.

    New Things

    Thanks to Stumble, I've recently become interested in a number of blogs, my current favorites being Hyperbole and a Half by the hilarious Allie Brosh and Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond's blog.  Anyway, I thought that perhaps I too, could attain internet notoriety (or at least have some kind of personal account of this next phase in my life).

    Things are changing fast for me at the moment, but I won't talk about that now - I want to talk about Oreos.

    We've all thought at some point or another "What am I doing with my life?"  I experienced this the other day.  My room exploded.  Obviously not literally, but most definitely figuratively.  Stuff everywhere.  Clothes, shoes, make-up, electronics, important medical documents, school work, get the idea.  I would have taken a picture for you all to see, but alas, my camera was lost in the explosion.  So I'm sitting in my bed, 100% hungover from the previous night's shenanigans, eating Oreos for breakfast, in a sea of crap and I think "What am I doing with my life?"

    In fact, what I was doing with my life is preparing to become a high school chemistry teacher.  In my hungover, oreo-filled stupor, I took the Praxis I exam (which I aced, oh yea I did).  That story is lame and anti-climactic, but it's late and I'm new at this, so be patient.

    Anyway.  This blog will most definitely contain more tales of my attempt to teach America's youth, funny anecdotes, childhood memories, social commentary, and possibly even pictures (if I can figure out technology)!  I may also supply you with quotes and songs I enjoy.  Get pumped.